Gardistan

ESC 2011: Norway

2011-02-13T20:39:00.003+01:00

A quick rundown of the finalists for Norway:

My personal favorite as explained earlier. Of course, it is all a question of "what are you trying to achieve through participation in ESC?" - most of which will say is "win". Albeit, winning the competition does not necessarily mean winning anythin other than the competition and gaining a whole lot of expenses the following year. Helen Bøksle is a wonderful display of Norwegian Soft Power - that is, the propogation of Norwegian cultural heritage.

Sie Gubba - Alt du vil ha (All you want, you'll get)

Is another propagation of Norwegian Soft Power. While some will claim this is only country (of which, some will say Norway is the only country in the world consuming more country music than the USA - true or not), it is not. It's Trønder-rock, a speciality of the Trøndelag dristricts. The song, however, does not stick, nor does it propagate anything beyond itself.

Babel Fish - Depend on me

A sure hit among the Douglas Adams fans could probably raise a lot of geek-points in Düsseldorf for the band name alone. The song, however, is regular pop, and doesn't stick.

The Lucky Bullets - Fire below

Now this is music! It is catchy, it is well done, the band members have character - definitely one of my favourite musically. The lyrics are well beyond the grey area (she's got a fire down below), and it is a propagation of US soft power rather than Norwegian.

The Blacksheeps - Dance tonight

While sheep is one of the words that do not gain an 's' in plural, The Blacksheeps broke the surface in 2008 with their song Oro jaska, beana - Be quiet, dog. This song made it to the top of Nordic ESC and contained Norwegian and Sámi lyrics. No wonder, the band is from Deatnu/Tana, one of the major Sámi towns. I really appreciated their 2008 hit.

Their 2011 entrance goes a step further, with Norwegian, English and Sámi lyrics in the same song. However, they have so absolutely lost their innocense since 2008, the lyrics are just as far beyond the grey area as The Lucky Bullets, and is yet another rock song. It would be interesting to create a buzz about the languages used in the lyrics, but it would probably get lost in the party party.

Stella Mwangi - Haba haba

Speaking of parties, Stella Mwangi participates with THE party song. Easy to remember, catchy, mulicultural, positive and sung by a black woman. This is African soft power. Alas, black party party music is how Dave Benton secured Estonia's winning position in 2001. And it's immensly popular in Norway.

Åste & Rikke - Not that easy

A mix of TLC and Destiny's Child, Åste & Rikke is one of the more interesting songs in the Norwegian finale. It's memorable, but probably not singable by the ordinary mortal. And it's soul, which means it's "High-Pigmentation Soft Power" performed by "Not-Very-Pigmented people".

Hanne Sørvaag - You're like a melody

Simple girl-with-guitar-pop. The song sounds somewhat familiar, though I can't put my finger on it. Could probably win in one of the worse years of ESC - such as 2001. Unfortunately, this is not expected to be one of those years.

Not too surprising, then, that that the winner for Melodi Grand Prix 2001, the song that will represent Norway in Düsseldorf in May is... Haba haba, hujaza kibaba!

On the bright side, the lyrics are positive and encouraging. Trouble is, there's a statistical chance it might win. And there are dance steps, too. It will plague every disco in Europe for a year!

MGP/ESC 2011

2011-02-06T12:50:00.003+01:00

It's my firm belief that entries to ESC should represent the country's culture & identity, not win at all costs - albeit Secret Garden did this and won. Alexander Rybak did this and won. Hence, this song should also represent Norway - not to win, but as part of Norway's Soft Power Strategy

It would make ESC so much more interesting if all countries did this. We'll see how it goes on the 12th.

Speaking of Rybak, "the show between" of first part finale featuring Rybak and Keep of Kalessin was better than all the entires. It would have metalled the ESC. :)

Bred dina vida vingar

2010-10-30T14:45:00.001+02:00

Download now or listen on posterous

Bred dina vida vingar.wav (8042 KB)

Sendt fra min HTC

Posted via email from XKTE

Head Jaanipäev

2010-06-22T23:36:00.001+02:00

And so the Jonsok season for the year has started!

Årets andre utekaffe

2010-02-25T20:49:00.001+01:00

Test

2009-12-05T12:41:00.001+01:00

Dette er ein test av posterous.

Posted via email from XKTE

There be magic

2009-10-19T21:36:00.003+02:00

I finally went for that hike to the top of the hill behind our cabin. Up there, I found a wonderful view of the village beneath and the fjords beyond. (I would have shared a photo if I could, but the battery charger for our EOS 100D is kaputt, hände hoch! and so is the TyTN II)

On the way back down, I came across a fallen tree. The tree had rid itself of its bark, and was leaning towards a live tree. It had been in this position for quite a while, there was plenty of growth in the soil where the roots had once clinged on to rocks. I could not help but feel the strong presence of this tree, as if it had not really left, but had merely reached out and expanded its region of influence.

"There's a lot of magic here," I thought, spoke to the tree and agreed to exchange a gasket and a coin for a twig. The gasket went around a neighbouring twig, and the coin went under the root.

Stuck

2009-10-12T15:24:00.002+02:00

Today, my wife got stuck in our outhouse. "How come" I asked? And the response was that she flushed herself out with the water. But we don't have water or even pipes there, I said. And that's exactly why she got stuck. All I could do to help was wait.

Morning swim

2009-08-08T12:23:00.001+02:00

0_IMAG0211.jpg, originally uploaded by trollsilm.

Wife went for a swim. Naked. She is in the middle of the photo. Swimming naked, she becomes one with local nature, which is part of her integration into Norwegian society.

Annotations will be added on the photo at Flickr. (Click photo)

I was bullied!

2009-03-02T22:18:00.003+01:00

Published in Vestlandsnytt 10.2.2009 - English translation 2.3.2009 - unedited translation

I was the victim of bullying.

Bullying takes many forms, and are therefore difficult to manage without seeing the full picture. The schools have received a special responsiblity when it comes to bullying among children because that's exactly where they spend large amounts of the day. But the school is not the only place bullying happens. It is a phenomena that runs through all layers of society, age groups and beurocratic systems. But, as I mentioned, it takes different forms.

It is exactly because of this shapelessness of the phenomena that it is difficult to put your finger on a specific definition (not to mention being able to "prove" that bullying is occuring). And without a good definition, it is easy to focus on specific forms and unique occurances. Let me give a quick introduction to the simplest forms in the life cycle of bullying - from the age before cell phones and the Internet.

In elementary school, physical bullying dominates. It usually occures out of sight, but easy to recognize when the bruises begin to show up on the body. In middle school, it slowly changes to a more verbal form. Verbal bullying is a lot harder to prove. Then, at high school level, the social exclusion and backstabbing begins. But this is not the end of it. The experiences from all this bullying activity is also used in work life, when one wishes to "remove unwanted elements".

The fact that the youngest are the most immature is reflected in the choice of bullying form. And that's exactly why one must also be aware of the fact that the victim not necessarily knows that it is being bullied. It could, in fact, take decades before one realizes the full impact of what happened.

The youngest also don't necessarily realize that there ARE methods of interventions that may stop bullying. Many victims fear that interference from adults will make the situation worse. After all, both bullying and retaliation against "snitches" occure out of sight. And the older you get, the more refined the bullying, the more difficult to prove and impossible to prosecute.

When Eimar Hagen (Vestlandsnutt 6.2.09) writes that the number of victims are increasing, it doesn't necessarily mean that more are being bullied. Rather, it might as well reflect that people are become more aware of the bullying. More comes to see the light of day, which one should consider as a positive trend.

Paul Sundnes (Vestlandsnytt 6.2.09) refers to the fact that the school has to discover (or be told about) the bullying to be able to react. But victims of bullying develop a skill in keeping their mask. When I went to high school myself, my teacher would tell my parents that I was always happy and smiling. This came as a real surprise to me, because I knew that in many ways, I was experiencing the most difficult time in my life, and I was alarmingly close to taking my own life. It was moving away and living years in voluntary excile that not only saved me, but allowed me to slowly realize and understand what had actually happened.

Moving out the victim has become the most used "solution" to the problem. Many victims (and their families) often complain how it is the bullies that should have been exciled, not the victim. But particularly when dealing with children, we must remember that the bullies are just as immature as the victims. They might be missing - probably - empathy? This, a self declared bully will have to answer, if they remember. My own experience is that a child can be best buddies in private, but bullies in group situations. Excile is also not a "solution" for something I see as a general problem of society at large.

"Removing" a bully or a victim from the local community is no solution. Both are bonded to the social network, tearing them out affects a lot of people. Such a distancing of people is a polarization that plays a role in breaking down society. Instead, one must find a way for the parties to cooperate.

Jane Elliot was "a pickup ahead" when she in 1968 pioneered a role play experiment to help fight racism in the USA. In the experiment, she announced that people with blue eyes lacked pigments in their eyes. Without these pigments, nothing protected the brain from solar radiation, and they were therefore more stupid than brown eyed people. She then taught the "brown eyes" to systematically bully the "blue eyes". After a couple of days, she reversed the experiment, so that all the brown eyes could experience the same discrimination. All the students developed empathy from the experiment and became more aware to prejudice and discriminating behaviour.

The experiment stimatised both her and her family, which only increased her convition that her work was necessary. Today, she lives from doing the experiment on adults. Those who have experienced it know that it isn't just about racism, but about all human interaction. http://www.janeelliott.com/

In the end, bullying in childhood is an experiment in stratic abuse of power. The victims are those whoare stratgically easiest to bully, and has nothing to do with what they "officially" are being bullied for. As an example, the victim could be bullied for being "fat", while the bully is actually fatter.

With adults, the techniques develop into operational abuse of power to secure their own position in the work place or society. The more insecure they fell, the more they step on others. Particulary, they step on coworkers that potentially could endanger their job situation and therefore need to know who "the boss" is. Again, this takes many forms. The organization Stopp JobbMobben (http://www.stoppjobbmobben.no/) has documented a double digit number of forms that bullying occures at work. I have experienced som of them myself.

Children learn from adults. When adults backstab and speak prejudice against other people, they legitimise their own experimental discrimination of other children. This applies not only to parents, but also comments we do in media and what we call "politics".

Media lives off sensationalism, and it is therefore in their interest to polarise all stories. This way, media is a great proponent of a general attitude of "us" and "them" as opposites. It has become so ordinary that we often don't notice. Obviously, polarisation is part of what children copy in their experimental play with bullying.

Yes, play. I wish to emphasize that bullying during childhood is "play" for the bully, becase he/she experiments with this role. It is obvious for the experienced adult that it is a catastrophy for the victim, but we can not assume our own maturity to the child's. The child's play is a reflection of what the child observes in society at large.

Bullying and discrimination in all its forms break down society. Progress is only achieved through cooperation. If there is anything we can do to fight bullying, it has to start by encouraging empathy and cooperation before polarisation and competition.

I was going to end here, but received a reminder that these are all beautiful words with no tangible actions. Thanks the "Manifest against bullying", there is great focus on bullying in school. I think this will have only a limited effect if we are not able to see bulling other places. I therefore challenge everyone to come up with possible tangible actions we can take to prevent bullying in its entirety and share their suggestions and experiences with everyone.

Gard Abrahamsen Tuur-Eggesbø

Vingard

2009-02-24T21:18:00.002+01:00

When the vikings travelled west and discovered news lands, they also encountered a people who used a lot of vinegar on their food. Hence they called the new-found-land "Vingard" or "Vinland"

Fairytale

2009-02-21T22:39:00.002+01:00

It usually takes a (Harding-)fiddle for Norway to win the Eurovision Song Contest. Based on Norwegian folk music and featuring Norwegian folk dancing, written and performed by a Norwegian with Ukrainian roots playing said fiddle, I expect next year's Eurovision to take place somewhere in Norway.

Eg har vore mobbeoffer

2009-02-10T21:41:00.003+01:00

Publisert i Vestlandsnytt 10.6.2009 - Published in Vestlandsnytt 10.6.2009: English translation will eventually come. Maybe.

Eg har vore mobbeoffer.

Mobbing tek mange former, og er i så måte vanskeleg å ta hand om utan å sjå det heilheitleg. Skulane har fått eit spesielt ansvar i høve mobbing blant unge, nettopp fordi det er der dei samlar seg store delar av dagen. Men skulen er ikkje den einaste staden at mobbing skjer. Det er eit fenomen som gjennomsyrer alle samfunnsplan, aldersgrupper og byråkratiske system. Men det tek altså forskjellige former.

Nettopp grunna denne formlausheita av fenomenet, er det vanskeleg å setje fingeren på ein spesifik definisjon (for ikkje å snakke om å kunne «bevise» at mobbinga skjer). Og utan ein god definisjon er det lett å fokusere på berre spesifike former og enkeltforekomstar. La meg gi ei kjapp innføring i dei enklaste formene i livssyklusen til mobbing – frå tida før mobiltelefonar og Internett.

I barneskulen er det meir vanleg med fysisk mobbing. Det skjer ofte i det skjulte, men enkelt å påvise når det vert så store skader at blåmerka byrjar å dukke opp på kroppen. På ungdomsnivået går det sakte over til verbal trakkasering, som er mykje vansklegare å påvise. Så kjem den sosiale utfrysinga og baktalinga på vidaregåande nivå. Med dette er ikkje slutten. Erfaringane vert gjerne nytta også i arbeidslivet, når ein ynskjer å «fjerne uønska element».

At dei yngste er mest umodne viser seg i det hyppigaste valet av mobbeform. Og nettopp derfor bør ein òg vere merksam at mobbeofferet ikkje nødvendigvis veit at det er mobba. Det kan faktisk gå fleire tiår før ein skjønar omfanget av kva som har skjedd.

Dei yngste veit heller ikkje nødvendigvis at der ER moglege inngrep for å stoppe mobbinga. Mange mobbeoffer fryktar at innblanding frå vaksne vil forverre situasjonen. Trass alt foregår både mobbinga og gjengjeldsaksjonar mot «tystarar» i det skjulte, utanfor vaksne sine synsfelt. Og til eldre ein vert, til meir rafinert vert mobbinga, vansklegare å bevise, umogleg å anmelde.

Når Eimar Hagen (Vestlandsnytt 6.2.09) viser til at talet mobbeoffer aukar, så kjem dette altså ikkje nødvendigvis av at fleire vert mobba, men kan like gjerne reflektere det at folk vert meir bevisste over mobbinga. Meir kjem fram i dagen, og det burde ein sjå på som ein positiv trend.

Paul Sundnes (Vestlandsnytt 6.2.09) viser til at skulen må oppdage (eller få beskjed om) mobbinga for at skulen skal kunne reagere. Men mobbeoffer vert etterkvart ekspertar i å halde maska. Då eg sjølv gjekk på vidaregåande, kunne hovudlæraren fortelje foreldra mine at eg alltid var så glad og smilande. Det kom eigentleg som ei bombe på meg, for eg visste at eg på svært mange måtar opplevde den vanskeligaste tida i livet mitt, og var urovekkande nær på å ta mitt eige liv. Det var utflytting og årevis i frivillig eksil som ikkje berre redda meg, men gjorde at eg etterkvart innsåg og forstod kva som hadde skjedd.

At mobbeoffer flyttar ut er den mest brukte «løysinga» på problemet. Mange mobbeoffer (og familiane deira) klagar ofte over at det er mobbarane som skulle ha vorte tvangsflytta, ikkje offera. Men spesielt i barnestadiet må ein vere merksam på at mobbarane er like umodne enn mobbeoffera. Dei manglar kanskje – sannsynlegvis – empati? Det må ein sjølverklært mobbar svare på, dersom dei hugsar det. Mi erfaring er at ein gjerne kan vere god kamerat på tomannshand, men konkurrere om kven som er flinkast å mobbe i gruppesituasjonar. Utflytting er altså ikkje ei «løysning» på noko som eg reknar som eit generelt samfunnsproblem.

Å «fjerne» mobbar eller mobbeoffer frå lokalmiljøet er inga løysing. Begge er knytt til det sosiale nettverket, begge har pårørande. Ei slik distansering er ei polarisering som er med på å bryte ned samfunnet. I staden må ein finne ein måte å føre partane til samarbeid.

Jane Elliott låg «ein pickup føre» då ho i 1968 byrja eit banebrytande rollespel-eksperiment for å bekjempe rasisme USA. I eksperimentet kunngjorde ho at folk med blå auge mangla pigmentar i augene som kunne beskytte hjerna mot stråling frå sola, og at dei derfor var dumme. Deretter lærte ho opp «brunaugene» å systematisk mobbe «blåaugene». Etter ei veke reverserte ho eksperimentet, slik at alle «brunaugene» fekk oppleve den same undertrykkinga. Resultatet var at alle utvikla empati og vart meir varsame for å ty til fordommar og oppføre seg diskriminerande mot andre.

Eksperimentet stigmatiserte både henne og familia hennar, noko som overbeviste henne om at arbeidet hennar var nødvendig. I dag lever ho av å gjennomføre eksperimentet på vaksne. Dei som har opplevd dette skjønar at det ikkje handlar berre om rasisme, men om all menneskeleg interaksjon. (Ref: http://www.janeelliott.com/ )

Når det kjem til stykket, er mobbing på barnestadiet eit eksperiment i strategisk maktmisbruk. Offera er dei som er strategisk enklast å mobbe, og har ingenting å gjere med det dei «offisielt» vert mobba for. Til dømes kan mobbeofferet verte mobba for å vere «feit», medan mobbaren faktisk er feitare.

I vaksen alder går teknikkane over til å verte operasjonell maktmisbruk for å sikre eigen posisjon i arbeidsplassen eller samfunnet. Til meir usikre dei føler seg, til meir trakkar dei på andre. Spesielt trakkar dei på medarbeidarar som dei meiner potensielt kan setje arbeidsplassen deira i fare og som derfor treng å få vite kven «sjefen» er. Igjen tek dette mange former. Organisasjonen Stopp JobbMobben (http://www.stoppjobbmobben.no/) har dokumentert eit titals former for mobbing på arbeidsplassen. Eg har sjølv opplevd nokre av dei.

Barn lærer lett av vaksne. Når vaksne baktalar andre og uttalar seg forutinntatt om einskildpersonar, så legitimierer vi barns eksperimentelle diskriminering av andre barn. Det gjeld ikkje berre foreldre, men også uttaler vi gjer i media og kallar «politikk».

Media lever av å sensasjonalisere, og prøver derfor å polarisere alle saker som skal fram i lyset. Slik er også media med på å legitimere ei generell haldning om «oss» og «dei» som motpartar. Dette har vorte så vanleg at vi ofte ikkje legg merke til det. Det er klart at slike polariseringar er slikt som barn kopierer i sin eksperimentelle leik med mobbing.

Ja, leik. Eg vil understreke at mobbing i barnestadiet er ein «leik» for mobbaren, fordi han/ho eksperimenterer med denne rolla. At det er ei katastrofe for mobbeofferet er sjølvsagt for oss med litt meir erfaring, men vi kan ikkje pålegge vår modning på det umodne barnet. Barnets leik er ein refleksjon av det barnet observerer i resten av samfunnet.

Mobbing og diskriminering i alle sine former bryt ned samfunnet. Framgang får vi gjennom samarbeid. Er det noko vi kan gjere for å bekjempe mobbing, så må det nødvendigvis byrje med å fremje empati og samarbeid framfor polarisering og konkurranse.

Her hadde eg tenkt å avslutte, men fekk ei påminning om at dette er vakre ord utan konkret tiltak. Takka vere «Manifest mot mobbing», er det i dag stor fokus og på å motarbeide mobbing i skulen. Eg trur dette vil ha avgrensa effekt, dersom vi ikkje evnar å sjå mobbing andre stader. Eg vil derfor utfordre alle til å kome med konkrete tiltak for å forebygge mobbing i si heilheit og dele forslag og erfaringar med alle.

Gard Abrahamsen Tuur-Eggesbø

Massikommunikatsioon '84

2009-01-11T14:15:00.005+01:00

Timeless song by Estonian band Singer Vinger. Ise ma loen Lääne Elu ja Postimees. (Meie igapäevast Savisaart anna meile tänapäev)

Õhtustest lehtedest teada ma saan
seda, kes surma on saand.
Tooliga teleri ette end aan
värvides veikleb ekraan.

Ref:
Mõnus massikommunikatsioon,
lala laa laa laa,
lala lal lal lal lal laa
Kallis kauge informatsioon
...niisiis.

Hiinas on uputus, Taanis on tuul
meitel on aeg ikka suur.
Uurivad ruumi ja kaapavad kuu
ikka on midagi uut

(Ref)

Raukadel raadio ja noortel on hääl
kokku on kõik \Rahva Hääl\
Kõiksugu uudiseid maakera pääl
pajatab diktori hääl.

(Ref)

Informatsioonita olla ei saa
vajan kui õhku ma.
Ilmaprognoosita ilma ei tea
kui pole halb, siis on hea

(Ref)

From the evening papers I learn
who has been killed.
I sit down on the chair by the TV
In colours, the screen is flashing.

Ref:
Enjoyable mass communication,
lala laa laa laa,
lala lal lal lal lal laa
Dear remote information
...so.

In China is flood, in Denmark is wind,
us all ways gotta big time.
Explore space and scratch the moon
always something new

(Ref)

Old people have NPR and the young have Voice
Together, it is all People Magazine
All kinds of news from the surface of the globe
tells the news anchor's voice.

(Ref)

Can not be without information
I need it as air.
Without the forecast, I can't know the weather
if it isn't bad, it's good.

(Ref)

The little sun

2008-12-19T23:34:00.003+01:00

This is the English translation of "Den vesle sola" posted December 15th.

Once upon a time, there was a sun who was so very small. Indeed, she was the smallest sun in the street. But there was no lack of ambitions. She had great plans to shine up there in the sky, so that she'd become known in the entire world.

All the children in the street made fun of her. They couldn't imagine that anything would ever become of her. Particularly the moons were bad to her. All but one moon, who was also being teased because he only rotated round Pluto instead of a «real» planet.

It was this friendship that made it possible for the little sun to accompany Nix one night and try out the job as a moon. It didn't go to well, though. The sun was born sun and will always be one. She shined so brightly round Pluto that the astronomers started fighting. Nix almost lost his job. And the little sun had no other choice than to find a sun job.

He first tried in Brazil, but they wanted a strong and powerful sun, and preferably one who knew samba. In Spain, they wanted a macho sun who could bring some heat to the beaches. And in England they didn't want any sun. The British only wanted rain and fog. France wanted a sun who drank wine, and the little sun was too young for that kind of stuff.

Austria wanted that their sun should wear lederhosen, so the little sun didn't even apply for that one. China already had a dragon who gave them all the light and warmth they wanted. India had all the stars in Bollywood, and Japan had their streets filled with neon advertising signs. The future looked grim and dark for the little sun.

There was only one job left, a job that nobody else wanted. But the little sun enjoyed her new found job. It was a part time job, doing the night shift in the far north.

Den vesle sola

2008-12-15T09:47:00.004+01:00

Det var ein gong ei sol som var så veldig lita. Ja, ho var den minste sola i gata. Men ambisjonane mangla det ingenting på. Ho hadde store planar om å skine slik på himmelen at ho kom til å verte verdskjend.

Alle barna i gata til denne sola lo av henne. Dei kunne ikkje forestille seg at denne vesle sola skulle verte til noko. Spesielt månane var stygge mot henne. Alle unnateke ein måne, som òg vart erta fordi faren berre kretsa rundt Pluto og ikkje ein «ordentlig» planet. Og det var på grunn av denne vennskapen at den vesle sola fekk vere med Nix ei natt og fekk prøve seg som måne.

Men det gjekk ikkje så bra. Sola var og er fødd som ei sol. Ho skinte sånn opp rundt Pluto at astronomane byrja å krangle, og Nix heldt nesten på å miste jobben sin. Så den vesle sola hadde ikkje anna val enn å finne ein soljobb.

Fyrst prøvde han seg i Brazil, men der ville dei berre ha ei sterk og kraftig sol, og helst ei som kunne samba. I Spania ville dei ha ei macho sol som kunne varme opp badestrendene. Og i England ville dei ikkje ha noka sol, berre regn og tåke. Frankrike ville ha ei sol som drakk vin, og den vesle sola var alt for ung for slikt. I Austerrike ville dei at sola skulle ha på seg lederhosen, så den jobben ville den vesle sola ikkje ein gong søke på. Kina hadde allereie ein drage som gav dei alt lys og vamre dei ønska, India hadde alle stjernene i Bollywood og Japan hadde gatene fylte med reklameskilt. Ja, det såg mørkt ut for den vesle sola.

Det sto att berre ein jobb som ingen andre ville ha. Men den vesle sola var nøygdd. Det var ein deltidsjobb, langt oppe mot nord og riktig nok om natta.

Terror threat

2008-11-18T20:43:00.002+01:00

So my work place had a terror exercise. A simulation that starts by someone calling in a bomb threat. Since I knew when this was going to happen, I planned a trip to an external location for that time. I had work to do.

"But you should take part of the exercise, too!" the complaints came. "Everyone should take part of the exercise."

So in this exercise, I'm supposed to walk out of the building and do nothing. What am I supposed to tell the remote location? "I'm sorry, I can't come and fix your network connection today, because I have been ordered to stand in the parking lot, kicking some stones instead of doing my job?"

We left through the back door minutes before the exercise started.

Ja-mann

2008-11-15T20:48:00.002+01:00

Gard Ulv: "Jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajaja"
Gard: "Neineineineineineineineinei"
Gard Ulv: "Jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajaja"
Gard: "Du er verkeleg ein Ja-mann, du, Gard Ulv"
Gard Ulv: "Vavavavavavavavavavavava"

English translation:
Gard Ulv: "Yeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayea"
Gard: "Nononononononononononononono"
Gard Ulv: "Yeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayea"
Gard: "You're quite a yes-man, aren't you, Gard Ulv?"
Gard Ulv: "Vavavavavavavavavavavavava"

Oro jaska beana

2008-10-19T19:06:00.002+02:00

Shut up, dog!

The most beautiful sea

2008-09-27T22:22:00.000+02:00

I came across this poem by Nazim Hikmet, which got me thinking. (And I'm sure a lot of people out there will be saying "what, you didn't see this poem yet?" to which I may answer "the most beautiful poem I have not written -uh- read yet." Similarly, an equally sized bunch of people is going to ask "Nazim who?") The poem goes:

The most beautiful sea hasn't been crossed yet.
The most beautiful child hasn't grown up yet.
The most beautiful days we haven't seen yet.
And the most beautiful words I wanted to tell you
I haven't said yet...

My first thought was along the lines of subjectivity. Not about difference in taste, but that of memory. The momentarily most beautiful is typically that which has already been experienced, because we can not truly appreciate the beauty which we have not experienced yet.

So I asked myself, what is (literally) the most beautiful sea within my memory which I have not crossed. Truly, oceans are usually boring, so we need to stick to smaller seas, which brings me to lakes. And I have crossed a few lakes in Sweden that were really beautiful. I am sure other lakes I have seen could be just as beautiful, and it dawns on me that my own interaction with the lake played a great role in the beauty I experienced from it.

This rings true in other settings as well. A friend in the US brought me to a mountain near her home town. We parked at the top, looked at the city below, and she suddenly said that, "strange.. it doesn't look so great now as it did last time I was here." She paused before she continues. "Must have been the guy I was with."

That comment made me a little jealous, but I have had similar experiences myself. There's a similar mountain where I went to college, and there are two ways to get there. You can climb 400 steps up the hill, or you can take a car. Every time I climbed the steps, the view was wonderful. But if I cheated and took the car, I didn't enjoy the view nearly as much.

My most beautiful trips are the ones by bicycle, not by car. Or better yet, by foot or by skis. So the beauty lies in the interaction, and how things, places and most of all people become part of us through these interactions.

Returning to the quote, what about all the beauty that are in the future? How does the interaction apply to these? How can I interact with something that I have not yet seen?

The answer is self evident. You can interact with beauty by planning interaction with it. This is some of what a lot of couples do when they meet. They lay plans together, and then embark on a long journey trying to fulfill these plans. The effort put into this not only makes the result spectacular, but the journey towards their goals become part of the beauty they experience.

Similarly, the bicycle trip I have been planning since 2001 (I just never had time to do it yet) will be the most beautiful bicycle trip ever when i finally get to do it, because I have so much energy stored into the idea of doing it and the research of the places I wish to visit.

Norwegian TV on Finland

2008-09-24T21:18:00.002+02:00

After the massacre in Kauhajoki, Norwegian TV2 is IMHO trying to sensationalize the story by bringing up old stereotypes and trying to prove them true. This happened in what seems like a parody of the news. Sadly, it really was the news.

A random person was interviewed whilst still sitting in their car. "What's that?" the reporter asked. "Is it a knife?" "Yes." "Why do you bring a knife with you?"

You know, I have a knife in the car, too. It has been standard inventory for my car for many years. There's always need for a knife. I may need to cut a branch somewhere, cut a rope or cut through some plastic wrap. I occationally use it to spread butter, cut cheese and apples, but mostly sheep sausages. And of course, it's good to have handy if I should accidentally run over a reindeer.

The Finn's knife was tiny compared to mine.

The report went on to a couple of teenagers. It seemed like the reporter was just running around town, looking for anything to make the town look like Hillbillyville. "Look! Skinheads! Are you a skinhead?" "Yes!" "Are there many skinheads in this town?" "Little." I'm sure there are more skinheads in Oslo than in Kauhajoki.

I wasn't sure if I was going to laugh at this terrible piece of news-turned-comedy, or plain weap at bad journalism. Because surely, this is not the kind of story a serious news channel should be focusing on a substory that isn't there. Rather, it would have been a perfect opportunity to instill some humanity in us all.

...and TV2 trolled even me...

Du ska få æi nye blæie

2008-05-21T06:45:00.001+02:00

Mel. Du skal få en dag i mårra

De va en gong eŋ liti gut
so va so trist å læi.
Han hadde bløytt til blæia si
å følte sej so våt.
Haŋ visste ičče arme råd
men skræik ti pappa'n siŋ
so ville roe guti ne
å song so diŋŋe song...

Du ska få æi nye blæie
so torr å ubrukt står
å ej ska sorre ne ront stompi diŋŋ.
Å om de ičče går so bra
å du værte like våt (el. so må du sæi i frå)
so ska ej kåme springande
me nye blæie til dej.
Ja, då fe du nye blæie
so ræin å ubrukt står
å ej ska sorre ne ront stompi diŋŋ.

Web page bugs

2008-04-18T21:07:00.004+02:00

Dear programmers of minside.no,

I entered my SSN and what was obviously the wrong password. So I clicked "Forgot my password". As a response, I get a message that my SSN is wrong, since I didn't type it back in.

So I enter my SSN again and click "Forgot my password". Your page now tells me it's the wrong password. Of course it's the wrong password, that's why I clicked "Forgot my password"!

I repeat this step. SSN, click "Forgot my password". Et voila! My account has been blocked for 24 hours. Thank you so much!

Update 21.04.2008: I received a response from minside.no, telling me that if I have forgotten my password, I should click the "Forgot my password" button. Funny!

Walk on by

2008-03-27T20:40:00.000+01:00

Painting completed 23.3.08

2008-03-23T18:05:00.002+01:00

60x80 cm, acrylic.

Early morning rain

2008-03-21T06:00:00.002+01:00

Our dear friend, personal French teacher, poet and everything else, Aidan Convery, came over one day to record a few songs. Early morning rain by Gordon Lightfoot is the first of a series of songs I'll be posting the next few weeks.

Snail mail again

2008-03-18T06:11:00.003+01:00

The latest form of snail mail may not take as long as last time, but this one is slightly insulting. We have bought a bunch of stuff from Amazon. But instead of sending it by Royal Mail, which has usually taken a few days in average, they suddenly decided that UPS was the way to go. Certainly not, I would like to comment, as seen from the tracking log at UPS:

March 4th
07:34 - Received invoice details
17:06 - Cumbernauld, GB: Origin scanned upon arrival
March 5th
03:31 - Köln, DE: Scanned upon arrival
04:38 - Malmö Sturub, SW: Scanned upon arrival
05:39 - Scanned upon departure
08:46 - Norway: Import scan
08:47 - In transit
13:07 - Oslo, NO: Forwarded to destination city
March 12th
11:00 - Destination is in a remote area and deliveries are not made every day.
March 17th
09:52 - Registered at clearing agent. Now in transit.

Remote area? UPS thinks that Guovdageaidnu is in a remote area? What, because it's not in Oslo? We're only a 130 km from Alta, for crying out loud! There are planes going from Oslo to Alta every day! Though this may very well be a warning of what is going to happen in the future, when all mail will be privatized.

Every trip must be profitable. This means that there may be no regular traffic independent of the number of deliveries it brings, but rather that they wait until they have gathered enough letters and parcels to make the trip as profitable as possible. In the meanwhile, that letter to grandma' may have to wait for two years.

Then again, perhaps this is the more ecologically viable way of handling it.

Dihturnoaidi: E-mail - keep it simple, stupid!

2008-03-17T14:54:00.001+01:00

The mere size of our e-mail boxes tend to overwhelm anyone who sees them. Recently, a friend of mine apologized for being a day behind on his introduction to an online group project, citing some 1600 e-mails in his inbox as the main reason. I can relate. My mailbox used to be this way, too. [read more...]

Suomi, oh Suomi

2008-03-07T14:53:00.003+01:00

Seeing Finland's Eurovision entry, I suddenly feel a rush to watch the European finale in a Finnish hotel again, as we did in 2006.

Snail mail

2008-02-04T19:11:00.000+01:00

A long awaited package finally arrived in the mail today. And I mean long awaited. The only copy of a specific video tape from our wedding in July has been missing since its departure from the owner on December 4th. It arrived today, February 4th, making the two month delivery time a new record as the slowest snail mail arrival to us yet.

Englegian

2008-02-04T18:59:00.001+01:00

We usually use the term "Norwenglish" about the strange form of English that Norwegians tend to speak. I have to add the new term "Englegian" to define the strange form of Norwegian that English-speakers tend to speak.

It was on the plane from Oslo to Ålesund that a coupld of young Britons were discussing something that I didn't immediately understand. "Tack *)" one said. "What is tack?" After a while, they found out it was the same as "Thank you." At this point, I understood that they were looking into a Norwegian Parlour.

"It feels like there's something missing," on said. "There should be something more to it, like... Tack you!" He found this to be so hillarious that he added "I'm going to say this to all my friends now. Tack you!"

The next word they tried to understand was "Jayday **)" I tried very hard not to giggle.

*) Norwegian "Takk" (Thanks) should be pronounced with an open "ah" as in "Say aaaah" rather than as the English word "tack". If you want something extra, you can always say "Takk skal du ha" [Ta(h)kk ska(h)l doo ha(h)] = Thanks shall you have. Or the even loner "Takk skal du ha og gift skal du bli!" (Thanks shall you have and married shall you become.)

**) Norwegian "Jada" (Yeah yeah) should be pronounced with an open "ah" as in "Say aaaaah" rather than as the English word "day." The "J" is more like a "Y" as in "Yeah" rather than the boy name "Jay". Hence [Ya(h)da(h)].

Daily Savisaar: Estonian geography

2008-01-24T21:59:00.000+01:00

"So what is Estonia's fifth largest island?"
"The fifth?"
"Yes. Everyone knows the four largest, but which is the fifth?"
"Savisaar"
"No, but he is certainly the largest island in Estonian politics."

Who is God?

2008-01-03T21:44:00.000+01:00

In 2007, God was the most wanted person on Google, and this search for God is on a slightly increasing curve. I'm not sure how I should read that. The immediate reaction is that more people are getting religious. At the same time, it could be an indiction of the opposite.

Who God is, is described fairly well in the Bible. First book. First chapter. First sentence. "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." I believe this to be a fairly well known fact. And that as far as we can define God within the limitation of our heaven/earth view.

After all, if God created our physical world from within a non-physical world, then God's existance is beyond the world we are able to see and comprihend. And as our understanding of abstract ideas also is limited by our physical comprehention, it is also reasonable to claim that God is beyond our abstract understanding as well.

By asking who is God, we place God and attempt to define God within our limited earthly understanding of persona. The question can not be answered under those terms. Similarly, if a TV screen could think, he would ask "What colour is Obama's eyes?" and see this as the very definition of Obama.

Hence, the best a human being can do is not to define God within our earthly ways, but to experience and appreciate. To do this, you have to stop asking "who" and start paying attention to your senses instead.

Jaan Kross 1920-2007

2007-12-31T01:03:00.000+01:00

When I first started to read Keiserns Galning, I thought it might be an autobiography. Not that it fits with Jaan's actual timeline, but either way it felt as if the author wrote it a very long time ago, and naturally had to be dead now.

Then I learned that he was very much alive. I decided that Jaan Kross therefore is immortal. Kind of like a vampire, except he writes to stay alive instead of sucking blood.

When I received the news that he had just passed away, I was proven wrong. He is not immortal. But I expect that also this assumption is wrong, and that we will receive new reports of Jaan Kross sightings in Bermuda on January 31st 2012.

As for Keiserns Galning, I have not completed reading it. The book is still in some box after the last move, so I'm not completely sure where it's located.

Beware other drivers

2007-12-29T00:37:00.000+01:00

I have always been very wary other drivers. You never know what they might do. I frequently find myself turning on the fog light and slowing down just to keep someone from driving less than 10 cm behind me. After getting an infant in the car, I have become even more paranoid about those pilots driving other vehicles.

For a while, I have been looking for some sort of bumper sticker to make those pesky tailgaters off my tail, but no gas station within 200 miles have any of the sort. So I decided to make my own.

The stickers come in three languages: Norwegian, Estonian and English. For obvious reasons, the English text is emphasized in the multilingual versions of the sticker.

Click on any of the stickers above, and you can get one, too. (Then it remains to be seen if the tailgaters actually know how to read or, for that matter, care.)

Under bananskallet (under the banana peel)

2007-12-18T15:48:00.000+01:00

Gards diktsamling Under bananskallet er no tilgjengeleg på nett. Fyrst publisert av Scriba Press i 2006 og prenta berre på spesialordre, kan ho no kjøpast på nettet via Trollsilm VevButikk.

Boka inneheld ei mengde dikt frå dagane på vidaregåande og ei novelle er òg med på kjøpet. Vi er usikre om dette er Gardistans beste eller verste. Men, som enkelte vil seie, dersom du har lyst til å verte deprimert, so er dette ein må-lese. (Og kan til og med fungere som verkemiddel til å gløyme norsken sin. Hmmm...)

Gard's poetry collection Under bananskallet is now available online. Originally published by Scriba Press in 2006 and printed on special orders only, it can now be ordered online via the Trollsilm WebShop.

The book contains a whole bunch of poems from the high school days and a short story as well. We're not sure if it's Gardistan's best or worst. However, as some will say, if you want to get depressed, this is a must read. (And might be an incentive not to learn Norwegian. Hmmm...)

Church asylum

2007-11-25T23:43:00.000+01:00

When you come to Norway illegally and then report yourself to the police, seeking asylum because you expect to be tortured to death if you're sent back to your home country, a long process starts where they try to find out if you're telling the truth about who you are and the risk of being tortured. Some times they believe you, and you get to stay on humanitarian grounds. Other times, they decide that they don't believe you and send you back to your home country.

Some times, people who are supposed to be sent back get to stay anyway, because international agreements block Norway from sending civilians to war zones.

Some times, people who are sent back are arrested at upon arrival, put in prison and tortured to death.

And some times, people who are supposed to be sent back run head over heels to the nearest church, where police is not allowed to arrest them. As long as they are within the church's property, they are safe. This is called church asylum.

While this sounds like a sweet deal for asylum seekers who have had their application refused by the Norwegian government, consider this: You have to stay inside all the time. Your liberty of movement ends the moment you step outside. You're actually in a form of prison, and you'll either be there for the rest of your life, or you'll be sent home to face your torturers.

Some claim that people who seek church asylum are actually lying about their background. After all, only a certain percentage of asylum seekers who are sent back by the Norwegian government actually turn out to have told the truth. But imagine to stay inside this one church day after day, month after month, year after year.

After staying in church asylum for seven years, Shahla was considering suicide (sounds ironic, but probably better than bein stoned to death), so friends and activists wanted a demonstration in front of the Norwegian parliament. And they wanted Shahla to take part in the demonstration. But how could they make this possible without Shahla being arrested? Then they had a brilliant idea: Let's build a mobile church!

Church asylum in Norway 2007 (Photo: Olav Nygård / Filadelfia)

The mobile church was blessed right before Shahla was moved on board for her trip to Oslo. Half way to Oslo, they got a message from the review board of the foreigner directorate that they had granted Shahla amnesty while the directorate review her case again. So while she now has the liberty of moving outside the church for a little while, there is still a chance that the directorate will repeat their refusal of her application and she'll hide behind the doors of a church again.

I don't know about you, but I would be really desparate to hide in a church for seven years. I'll be watching this case - media coverage allowing. (Some stories DO tend to just disappear out of sight.)

Hjemmefødsel / Home birth

2007-11-18T18:14:00.000+01:00

English translation in Italics

Enkelte har uttrykt en viss skepsis for hjemmefødsel. Her er vårt generelle svar:
Some have expressed scepticism for home birth. Here is our general response:

Det finnes milliarder av grunner til å tro at det er trygt å føde hjemme, og at fødsel er en naturlig funksjon av kvinnens kropp. Vi hadde valgmuligheter:

There are billions of reasons to believe that it is safe to give birth at home, and that birth is a natural function of the female body. We did had options:

Vi valgte stressfrie omgivelser i stedet for sykehusets stressede omgivelser.
We chose a stress free environment instead of the hospital's stressful environment.
Vi valgte naturlig fødsel uten kjemisk eller mekanisk inngrep for å få ting til å gå raskere/saktere/mindre smertefult. (Å føde i vann på 37 grader gav tilstrekkelig bedøvelse uten å senke hastigheten på fødselen)
We chose natural birth without chemical or mechanical interference to make things go faster / slower / less painful. (Giving birth in 37 C water gave sufficient pain relief without slowing down the process.)
Vi valgte å holde oss rolig hjemme, 200 meter fra nærmeste ambulanse og 1100 meter fra helsesenteret, i stedet for å risikere fødsel i løpet av de 300 km med snø- og isføre midt i reinflyttinga.
We chose to stay calm at home, 200 metres from the nearest ambulance and 1100 metres from the health centre, instead of risking birth somewhere along the 300 km of winter road in the middle of the reindeer moving season. (High risk of colliding with reindeer these days.)
Vi valgte et sted med frisk luft i stedet for eksosskyen til Snøvhit.
We chose a location with clean air instead of the exhaust fumes from Snowwhite.
Vi la alt til rette for at en normal fødsel skulle kunne skje, og ble belønnet med verdens nydeligste barn som var rosa helt fra fødselen av, ikke blå som så mange sykehusfødsel er.
We prepared to make a normal birth possible, and were rewarded with the world's most beautiful child, who came out pink from the moment of birth, not blue as so many hospital births are.
Vi sang og smilte til hverandre gjennom hele fødselen og mor kunne gi fra seg hvilke som helst lyder og gå hvor hun måtte ønske uten hemmelse fordi vi valgte å gjøre det på hjemmebane der VI var i kontroll over situasjonen.
We sang and smiled to each other throughout the entire birth, and the mother was able to give any sounds and walk anywhere she wanted with no inhibitions, because we chose to do it in home court where WE were in control.
Vi valgte et sted med friske mennesker og svært få (vi var bare tre i huset), i stedet for en høyblokk full av syke mennesker.
We picked a location with healthy people and that wasn't crowded (we were only three people in the house) instead of a high rise full of sick people.
Vi valgte å ta ansvar for egen fødsel, i stedet for å tro at "systemet" gir trygghet.
We chose to take responsibility for the birth instead of believing that "the system" would give safety.
Og mor var i stand til å ta imot barnet med sine egne hender. Det synst vi sier sitt.
And the mother was able to receive the child with her own hands. We believe that says what needs to be said.
Det vi manglet var muligheten til å forberede hjemmefødselen sammen med jordmoren. Systemet nektet henne å gi annet enn hjelp ved akkutt-tilfeller. Vi vil gi henne ære for den forståelse og assistanse hun gav oss den natten.
What we were missing was the ability to prepare the home birth together with the mid-wife. The system barred her from assisting only in accute emergencies. We wish to give her honours for the understanding and assistance she gave us that night.

A new family member

2007-11-13T07:38:00.000+01:00

Tired after a long and eventful night

Non-vitals: November 13th, 01:14:42 CET, 3200 g, 52 cm, boy

Vitals: Alive and well, 10 points on APGAR

More photos in our Photo album

Your ordinary trip to the dentist

2007-11-02T20:58:00.000+01:00

Today, I'd like to tell you about what it is like to go to the dentist around here. First, you call the local dentist office to find out that they can't take you for another 3-4 weeks no matter how much pain you're in. You eventually find out that you have to visit another dentist somewhere else. So you start driving. The road is long and has a lot of turns in it.

And bumps. There are lot of bumps in the road.

With some luck, a fox will catch your attention. You stop. Take photos. The fox thinks you're from Vogue and starts posing.

But you can't take photos forever, and start driving again. Look out for reindeer crossing the road!

After 150 km, you make it to the dentist, only to find out that you're not going to the dentist today after all. The note on the door tells you that the dentist has been in an accident and is cancelling all appointments. Please call for a new appointment.

Luckily, this was not the day I had the tooth ache...

Obituaries

2007-10-24T19:51:00.000+02:00

The reason the weight and height of the baby is so important that they are measured immediately after birth, is because the father needs to send the text message to everyone he knows "(name) was born at (time), weighing (amount) grams and at a height of (amount) cm. Mom and child are both well."

We're looking forward to all these important numbers in obituaries. "Grandpa died today at 18:23:21, weighing 78 kg and with a height of 182 cm. He lost 42 grams of soul at the moment of death, but gained an entire 75 kg since birth, an average of 972 grams per year."

Operation: Day's worth of work

2007-10-18T17:24:00.000+02:00

Every year, Norwegian high school students take a day off school to "sacrifice" a day's work to a given charity. The event is known as "Operasjon dagsverk" - Operation: A day's worth of work. The charities usually has to do with education, and with focus on a speific area.

This year, the theme is global warming and the location Central America. And this is where it gets interesting. The idea is that through education, youth can take a stand against the ever increasing life standards and its environmental impact. So far so good.

The problem, as I see it, is the recurring one: We implement a "modernized" school system which promotes higher living standards, higher consumption and thus also higher environmental impacts. This is demonstrated by the fact that their example of education for a prosperous future is, indeed, as a mechanic of combustible engines. That is not to speak of all the other types of education that can get you a job as a factory worker in a multinational corportation with high environmental impact.

And then I have not even touched the fact that the 8 page A4 information full colour "brochure" is printed on extra heavy paper and covered with chemicals, then distributed to hundreds of thousands of students and teachers across the entire country - instead of just distributing a PDF. Alas, less than 1/3rd of what you end up donating to the cause is spent on wasteful management and other environmentally dangerous activities.

Reklaamid

2007-09-02T12:20:00.000+02:00

Täna on 2.9.2007 ja ma loen reklaamid Dellilt. Dell on väga tige firma. Saadavad reklaamid firmale, mis on registreeritud, et ei taha reklaamid. Minu firma ei taha reklaamid, aga Dell saadab ikkagi. Pool aastat tagasi teadasin Dellile, et ma ei taha reklaamid, ja et reklaamid on maha visatud paperid. Kui ma loen reklaamid, siis minu aeg on maha visatud.

The irony

2007-08-29T15:13:00.000+02:00

Big business is trying to pick up on "The Green Wave" in all the wrong ways. From today's interesting package, "This year's IT event will focus on environmetal friendliness and [economic viability]" with furter details about how you become more economic by using less paper, don't have to travel round half the country to have a meeting and save on work hours. "It even becomes cost effective."

This is from the invitation to the Ementor Community 2007, October 23rd. In order to participate and "show" how much I care about the environment, I'm asked to fly across the ENTIRE country to meet them in Oslo. This is printed on bleached 350g paper with glossy finish, accompanied by a 52 page A3 catalogue of products that they have started to send me on what seems to be a monthly basis. The catalogue and the invitation came with an additional A4 letter and wrapped in redundant plastic wrapping.

Now, why do I find it so difficult to take these people's "environmental stand" seriously?

2007-06-19T08:53:00.001+02:00

Larger fines

2007-06-11T19:25:00.000+02:00

Norway is well known for its large fines for breaking the law. Especially speeding can cause very large fines. Some fines, however, are not quite as well known.

Norwegians who decide to fall in love with a foreigner does not automatically have the right to a family life. He or she has to pay a fairly large fine for littering the Norwegian racial gene pool. Last year, the fine was NOK 800 (ca €100). January 1st 2007, the fine increased 37.5% to NOK 1100 (ca €138). Only six months later, on June 1st 2007, the fine made another 173% jump to NOK 3000 (ca €375), which results in a 275% increase over only six months. I wished my own salary increased this fast.

Well, the Norwegian who doesn't keep the race clean basically has two choices: Pay the fine (equivalent to driving 75 km/h in the 60 km/h limit) four years in a row and maybe keep your family or get the heck out of the country.

Mun lean Hulk

2007-06-03T20:09:00.000+02:00

I don't speak Saami, but I have learned a little bit. I wrote this little piece to practice.

Buore beaivvi!

Mun lean Hulk.
Mun boran mánáid. Mun geahččalan heaitit.
Mus lea ruoná oaivi. Mun orun Marrasis.
Mu vuostá lea ruoná.
Ruoná vuostá ii leat buorre.
Gos lea hivsset?

Mus lea fiskes soajahisbáidi, rukses buvssat, vilges Ski-doo sohkkat ja čuvgesrukses sisbuvssat.

Mu girdi lea ráhtu. In beassan mannat ruoktot.
Mu olbmát leat Inga ja Frank. Gunn lea Hulka moarsi, arrrrr.
Dáppe lea su ruovttusiidu: http://www.stud.ntnu.no/~annenils/gunn/

Kolonisaator

2007-05-29T22:13:00.000+02:00

Hispaanias on palju norralased. Norralased Hispaanias käivad norra koolis, näevad norra telekass, rääkivad norra keeles. Koolis on norra curriculum. Ainult üks asi on Norra ja norra koloonia Hispaanias vahel: ilm.

Tänu ELile, norra kolonisaator "hääletab kohalikel valimistel." Keda häletavad? Norralased tahavad norra vald, kus ka vallavanem rääkib norra keelt. Hispaanias.

Norra kolonisaator Hispaanias rääkib norra keelt poes ja frisööres. Üks poodmees ütleb, et ta peab räägima norra keelt. "Kes ei rääki norra keelt, ei saa kunded."

Kolonisaatored ei taha tasuta kursus hispaania keeles. Nad tahavad kõik norra keeles.

Igav vihm sureb tulis

2007-05-20T08:47:00.000+02:00

Minevik

2007-05-19T12:26:00.000+02:00

Himmel og hav / Sky and ocean

2007-05-18T22:46:00.000+02:00

The current row between the EU and Russia over pipelines, gas dependencies, oil and Red Army monuments is a clear indication that EU should pursue a more independent energy policy. Learning from the mistakes of the USA, we know that energy is a vital part of national security, and dependency on foreign energy makes us all the more vulnerable. The EU, operating in a block, must therefore adopt a policy where self sufficiency in its energy needs is imperative.

At the same time, in a high school in the Arctic parts of Europe receives two visitor and their accompanying TV crew.

Pilt: John Arne Øxseth

Siri Kalvig (right) was the first weather woman on Norwegian TV2. Apart from being the most popular meteorologist for this reason, she has also turned into an environment activist. Together with Hilde Holdhus (left) and armed with graphs, animations and facts, she's touring Norway, telling "the next generation" to lay off the CO².

I found only two major flaws in the presentation, but found that it might be a bit rude to bring them up in front of the cameras, as well as young, old and prominent people from the entire village. And I had forgotten to arm a student with these uneasy questions.

The two girls bring an important message, and not having thought the issues through as thoroughly ahead of time as I would like to, I decided to wait instead of turning the duo completely disillusioned about their own campaign. So I waited and, well, blogged about it. Which would be this blog.

Do you really need to be here?

The most immediately rude question was, of course, why they had to fly some 2000 km, dumping out massive amounts of CO², when even the Arctic has sufficient Internet bandwidth to do the entire lecture by teleconferencing technologies. Indeed, because of the distances between each town, teleconferencing is used quite often. I used it myself just a couple of weeks ago, to save myself from having to drive 420 km to attend a three hour meeting, and then drive 420 km to come home. Instead, I just walked 20 metres to the video conferencing room and attended from there.

Granted, having a national celebrity go on a tour, meeting students who eagerly want their autographs, might have a deeper impact than a video conferencing lecture. Though I was not immediately impressed when Siri (not so) reluctantly revealed that according to an online carbon footprint calculator, she caused about 20 tonnes of CO² emissions a year, much of it caused by flying.

"My job requires me to fly, so I fly, and there is nothing that can be done about this." The same argument went for her sidekick, which "only" caused the "average" 11 tonnes CO² per year that any average Norwegian causes. But when it comes to employers, I have a completely different opinion.

Particularly these girls who work in the weather / environment industry, should be able to leverage great power in their words, when they demand telecommuting. Do they really have to physically fly between Oslo and Bergen every week? How much of their work is truly location dependent? This is the 21st century for crying out loud.

Consumption metrics

The "solution" to the global heating problem is what we keep hearing all the time: Stop using fossil fuels. Use less automobiles. Use less energy. Everyone complies, but we still use too much. Why? Because for the ordinary consumer, there is no way to measure the impact of their reductions. And reductions in one area might cause an increase in a different area.

So you use only half the amount of gasoline as before, because you drive less. But exactly how much does this affect your carbon footprint? You just know it is less. Indeed, you're tempted to ditch your old car in favour of a new, more gas efficient car. But exactly how much CO² is released in the production process of your brand new car? Or computer, for that matter? The last I heard, your off-the-shelf desktop computer costs the environment about two tonnes of CO² emissions.

Then there's all the stuff you buy in the store. Which products caused more CO² emissions during production? There's a combination here between the distance the item had to travel, plastics used in production and packaging, and energy. How about that plastic bag you used to get your food home? You have a closet full of them.

The problem is, the ordinary consumer is not told what the environmental cost of these items are. Just like we are able to keep track of our own personal economy, we also need to keep track of our personal carbon emissions, and we need an actual number for our target emissions. Without such controls, the only way to truly be certain we reduce CO² emissions sufficiently, is to do all the production yourself. Which brings us to a third point:

Bio fuels and burning wood

For ages, I have heard how bad it is for the environment to burn wood, because it releases CO² into the atmosphere. However, BioDiesel and similar fuels are thought of as "CO² neutral" because they are based on biodegradables that would just rott and relase CO² into the atmosphere whether we burn it or not. If so, we should be able to use the same argument for burning wood. And indeed, burning wood burns clean, as opposed to BioDiesel's non-CO² environmental poisons.

Burning wood is not the only environmentally friendly technologies that need to be "rediscovered" by those who have turned gas/electricity for their everyday needs. How about building straw bale houses which are neearly completely biodegradable, nonpoisonous and can be built at only a fraction of the cost of "modern" houses, and the associated carbon footprint almost non-existant. And these houses are not bad, either. Indeed, just because it's "old technology" doesn't mean it's bad. It means it's well tested.

Now I just need a place to build my own. Sponsors are welcome.

Lõimumine: Njuujorgis

2007-05-09T20:04:00.000+02:00

Ma olin Njuujorgis 1994 aastal. Mu sõber Саша tuli mulle lennukjaama vastu. Ta ei elanud Njuujorgis, aga tema vanaema elas Kviinis. Me tulime laudale kaetud. Ma rääkisin inglise keelt, aga Саша vanaema ei ~~ole~~ rääkinud. Ta rääkis ~~ainult~~ vene keelt. Tol hetkel ma ei mõtlesin, et see oli imelik ~~oli~~. Ta oli vana. Esimene põlvkonna immigrant.

Järgmisel hommikul, mina ~~ärgas~~ ärkasin üllatusega. ~~Üks~~ Keegi on telekat ~~põlema~~ käima panenud, hääl kinni panenud, ja raadiot ~~põlema panenud~~ sisse lülitanud. Praegu oli ~~aeg~~ "Dynastii" aeg. Aga miks raadio? Саша seletas, et Njuujorgis on palju venelasi, kes ei räägi inglise keelt ~~ei rääkivad~~. Nad elavad probleemideta, nii kaua, kuni nad ei lähe~~vad~~ välja ~~vene ala~~ Njuujorgis alast ~~välja~~. Raadioprogramm oli "Dynastii" venekeelne tõlge, üheaegne telekaga.

Sõnaraamataga

2007-05-08T08:48:00.000+02:00

Ma tean, et ma peaksin eesti keelt õppima. Nii nagu Giustino, ma ei õpi ka mina ilma harjutamata. Aga ma ei ela Eestis, ja 2-3 nädalat minu naine oli hõivatud ~~kirjutama~~ aruande ülekoolile kirjutamisega. Seepärast pean plogima eesti keeles.

Loin, et Agu-Enrik kirjutib "Igal juhul pikk pai Sulle!"

"Mis 'pai' on?"
"Sa ei tea mis 'pai' on?" Ta ~~algaib~~ hakkab paitama minu juuksed. "Sul on eesti nainega, sa peaksid teadma mis 'pai' on."
"Õh.. pea?"
"Ei!" Ta paitab tugevamini.
"Õõõh... juuksed?"
"Ei!" Paitab veel tugevamini.
"Ah! Paitama!"
"Jaaah!"

Siis lugu on ilma naineta sõneraamataga abil kirjutatud. (Naine on üks sõna muutnud: on "plogima" ei "bloggima." Jüst. :) )

Kas olen eesti?

2007-05-05T15:42:00.000+02:00

Searching for links to this blog, I stumbled over this one...
http://frankymole.livejournal.com/62162.html

"More Estonian humour/Russian hilarity: http://gardistan.blogspot.com/"
Aga ma pole eesti. Then again, aitäh! It is kind of funny to be mistaken for an Estonian. :)

New clashes feared over Red Army graves

2007-05-03T21:41:00.000+02:00

Young activists in New York City are organizing action against the US Government and "other capitalist dogs" such as shop owners. Sparked by recent events in Tallinn, Estonia, the activists are demanding the removal of what they call "an ancient imperialist law" that forbids the burial of Red Army soldier under NYC bus stops.

The Russian ambassador was not available for comment, but a committe is being sent from Moscow to demand the removal of the Bush administration. Unofficial documents leaked from Kreml names Edgar Savisaar as Putin's favourite candidate for the presidency of the USA.

The Bush administration already has its hands full, as India is protesting against a law that forbids cows from walking freely in the streets of US cities. Unless India's demands are met, this year's US tax returns will be outsourced^*) to US high school students.

*) A large percentage of the processing of US tax returns is outsourced to India because it is cheaper.

Red Army Blues

2007-04-29T13:07:00.000+02:00

As military graves are removed from a Tallinn bus station to Tallinn's military grave yard, mourning youth decided to protect the honour of the Red Army by breaking windows, looting, fighting each other, looting, burning Estonian flags, looting and ... looting. Russia has officially responded that the burial of soldiers in a graveyard accordance with the Geneva convention is inhumane and blasphemous. They also criticize the police for their use of water canons and tear gas to calm down peaceful, mourning youth.

According to Russian officials, there's a long standing ~~Sovje..~~ Russian tradition to bury dead under bus stations. There's a deeply rooted common belief, that this makes sure the bodies stay down. At least during rush hour traffic. "We insist that all our people be buried under bus stations. It is our right!"

A mourner puts his hope to comforting himself to a pack of condoms. "But look at my arms," he exclaimed. "Stupid windows in the shops put up by Estonian nationalists ripped up my arms!"

Indeed, most injuries on hands and heads seemed to be caused by glass. As we can see from this photo, the glass came from nasty nationalist windows that tried to hide goods that really belongs to the People. At least according to communism.

"It is our human rights to drink and smoke in the weekends," one mourner seems to say. "but they want us to buy booze and cigarettes. That's discrimination!" Soon enough, all the alcohol was taken by other ~~looting~~ mourners, but not everyone needs alcohol, tobacco and condoms to find comfort.
This man finds comfort in plain chocolates, soda, tampons and female hygienic pads. He's already looking forward to a splendid morning with his grateful girlfriend.

Other shop owners have to rethink their stock and marketing strategy. On display, they have a dress that nobody even cares to steal!

Rage as grave is moved

2007-04-29T09:44:00.000+02:00

The world reacts, when Estonia decides to move a military grave and its monument from a busy bus station to a military grave yard according to the Geneva convention. Here are some of the reactions.

Russia: This is inhumane and blasphemous! How can people pay respect to the dead, if they are not buried under the bus station, so that we can feel them under our feet? They gave us only a year to think up a reaction, too, which is a direct insult. We can't pull out of Chechnya to mobilize our new invation of Estonia that fast. Not that I'm indicating any military operation, because I'm not indicating anything.

Germany urges Estonia to talk to Russia. It is important to please Russia, we (Germany) need that gas pipe through the Baltic Sea. "Don't ruin the deal for us, you ungrateful lot, you."

Norway urges Estonia and Russia to stop fighting. "Norway is the only country that borders Russia and never has had a conflict," the Norwegian Foreign Minister exclaimed. "Better do as Russia says, they are our friend. We're even working on an oil deal with them."

The UN responded by blowing soap bubbles, as always. "Loooook! Preeeettyyyy buuubbles! Looove, peeace and conciliaaation!"

USA thinks they all talk funny in Europe. In a surprise press release, however, the US Army buys out Dubbya International Airport in Baghdad to use as a mass grave for US soldiers. "Thanks for the tip," a spokesman for the DoD announced to Putin. "We'll use your idea, but make it bigger, since we'll need the acres and acres this airport gives us. And then we'll reopen the airport. It's brilliant! Integrating dead with airport will be a top tourist attraction when we have freed Iraq from Iraqis."

Russian super markets ban all Estonian commodities. "But we're not boycotting them, we just don't sell their stuff. If you want Estonian stuff, go get it yourself in Tallinn. They have open windows all over the place these days."

Frozen New Year

2007-01-01T23:23:00.000+01:00

2006-12-14T22:14:00.000+01:00

Two Highways

2006-12-14T22:13:00.000+01:00

Aurora Borealis II

Aurora Borealis

2006-12-10T21:50:00.000+01:00

10 second exposure to catch the narrow version of Aurora Borealis almost directly above the apartment. Still waiting to get a good photo of the "6-lane-highway covering half the sky" version of it.

Sure we're family

2006-12-10T21:49:00.000+01:00

Bures (aka Boris) climbs up on my lap and starts purring.

Máze Church

2006-12-07T22:02:00.000+01:00

Guovdageaidnu Church

2006-12-03T22:09:00.000+01:00

Within the fence

2006-11-14T01:11:00.000+01:00

2006-10-31T20:10:00.000+01:00

Catcode

Trapped by the system

2006-10-20T00:14:00.000+02:00

Acrylic. One of those times I was done in one sitting.

Bures is back!

2006-10-09T12:14:00.000+02:00

After going missing for three months, I saw this yellow-orange lightning run across the street. I quickly rolled down the window and shouted "Bures!" He stopped instantely, turned his head around and went "meow!" Since his return, Bures hasn't been outside much. He seems to prefer inside - for now.

Christer Hellander 1954-2006

2006-10-03T12:49:00.000+02:00

A small trip by kayak

2006-08-26T12:52:00.000+02:00

When you have to sleep...

2006-08-07T20:57:00.000+02:00

...you just have to sleep...

Sunset at a Finnish lake

2006-05-27T23:43:00.000+02:00

Evidence of Swedish vampire

2006-05-26T16:21:00.000+02:00

It's evening in an unspecified Swedish graveyard. Walking around, one tombstone catches your eye. This one lived to be old. Very old. 686 years to be exact. Note to self: go back and talk to the minister about this specific grave.

Artist at work

2006-05-24T16:18:00.000+02:00

First ever: Finland wins Eurovision 2006

2006-05-22T17:45:00.000+02:00

It was one of those eerie moments, when I discovered the huge cultural gap between Finland and Norway. Ice hockey was more important than Eurovision! When the game finally ended, we were nine songs into the most significant event of European TV of the year: The 2006 Eurovision Song Contest, Melody Grand Prix.

Finland won the Eurovision song contest for the first time ever, and they still had to close the pub at the usual time. Nachspiel at the arras across the street. Lordi proclaimed later on TV that he wouldn't speak Finnish publicly because of his Lappland accent.

Grrrr. Be proud of your heritage, Lordi. After all, not only did you and your comrades achieve Finland's first ever complete success in MGP, but you broke all records of total number of points ever given to someone in the competition. Let us not have next year's Eurovision in Helsinki, but send it to the Siida in Rovaniemi instead. That would be very cool.

2006-04-14T11:19:00.000+02:00

Cillit Bang! and it's gone

2006-04-10T19:33:00.000+02:00

3.4.06 Igloo Taxi

2006-04-10T19:32:00.001+02:00

1.4.06 Showbar

2006-04-10T19:32:00.000+02:00

1.4.06 Bay of Finalnd

2006-04-10T19:02:00.000+02:00

30.3.06 Wilde and Vilde

Påskeunivers

2006-03-22T07:25:00.000+01:00

Universet er fyllt av kaos
som menneskestemmer som roper
Kaos! Det er kaos her, stille!
Og nokon svarar, kaos?
Er det kaos?
Ka kaos?
Kakao os!

Eg er tøst, eg vil ha kakao!
Eg óg!
Så osar det ut av ei sol
ein storm av partiklar
Partiet klart
Nye parti klar med kaos
Med kakao os

Nam

Death Penalty

2006-03-11T16:06:00.000+01:00

A report in Yemen might be facing death penalty for breaking a local law which may be penalized with death. Writes the Yemen Observer: "RSF have also launched an email petition calling for their immediate release, with supporters asked to email, moyen-orient2@rsf.org"

Oh God - another e-mail petition. I much prefer the more legit method of signing the petition on the RSF web site.

While you're at it, stand your ground and sign the petition to end death penalty in the USA, the only Western "democracy" that still has death penalty. There's also a petition to make Europe and Central Asia a death penalty-free zone, and plenty of other petitions against death penalty.

Hmmm... suddenly we had a political blog entry again. I need to start posting photos again.

Kitten love

2006-03-05T21:03:00.000+01:00

A quick skiing trip

2006-02-27T19:28:00.000+01:00

Hmmmm... I definitely need a hair cut.

The newly borns

2006-02-24T23:52:00.000+01:00

Subject A was born on the floor under the sofa. That would be before I was "summoned" to assist with the birth.

The only difference I have been able to tell between subject B and C is the width of the white stripe on the forehead. Subject B has a narrower stripe than subject C.

Subject C

Subject D is the skinnest of the lot, and differs by having various dark orange spots and as you barely can see, a tiny spot of white.

But seeing the difference between A and E - they are both pitch black...

Subject F, however, is quite unique, and seems to be the healthiest of the lot.

Born on the Estonian National day

2006-02-24T13:49:00.000+01:00

I was just going to post a photo of the Estonian flag today, but lacked an actual flag to take a photo of. Besides, I suddenly got a lot of other things to think about. Five of them, to be exact.

It started at approximately 5:30 in the morning, when I heard a high pitched mieuw from the living room, and a more adult and concerned mieuw from outside my bedroom door, accompanied by some scratching. Natasja had given birth to her first child - under the sofa.

I hurridly moved Boris out of the box he had annexed for the night, and put Natasha with child in it. We don't want the kids to be crawling around on the floor just yet. Placing the box just beneath the sofa, I could lie down and keep Natasja company while she gave birth to her next four children, making sure everything went well, and that she felt comfortable. Meanwhile, Boris was sitting in the window watching the sun rise.

As things calmed down, Boris joined me on the sofa, looking into the wonder that had been going on in the box. "That's your children, Boris," I told him.

"Mrrrrrieuw," he responded, jumped down on the floor and demanded that I put the breakfast out immediately. It's hard work watching the sun rise.

Update at 18:20
When I came home, I saw a kitten that was not there when I left for work. White with black spots - I would have seen it had it been there. I counted them again. Six. Yupp! Someone was born after I left for work...

Burn your own Norwegian flag!

2006-02-09T21:04:00.000+01:00

Watching the news the last week, it is difficult not to notice the burning of Norwegian flags. These pictures really do provoke me; how dare they burn such badly drawn home made Norwegian flags, they don't even look Norwegian. If you're going to burn a Norwegian flag, make sure they look like the real thing! For this purpose, I have taken upon myself to create this online course in how to make your own Norwegian flag for burning in demonstrations outside the Norwegian embassy.

Canvas

Let me start with the concept of materials, also known as "medium" in art circles. This is the actual physical items you use to create your work of ~~fart~~ art, which in this case is the Norwegian fa..flag. Now, I have seen that a lot of you use bed sheets or similar pieces of ~~fanatics~~ fabric. While these are probably easy to bring along in your backpack, they have several drawbacks. For example, it takes two people to hold it up for the cameras, or nobody will be able to see which flag it is. The only time you get away with only one person is when the wind is blowing, but let's face it, putting the thing on fire when it's blowing is a pain in the butt. Also, the process of creating a flag on fabric can be a pain, as you will spend hours trying to put it down nice and flat without wrinkles, and then it starts curling up as soon as you touch it with your pen. And when you're finally done, it takes only two seconds for the flag to burn. If you blink, you'll miss it! It's more of an insult to the work you put into it than to the Norwegians.

Hence, I suggest using stiffer, yet easy to burn materials, such as cardboard. There are many types of cardboard available at your local grocery store, in all kinds of colours. Since you wish to paint an actual flag, you're adviced to use fine bleached cardboard. The white colour is an excellent background and, unless there's writing on it, completely eliminates the necessity of painting it over with white paint before beginning. This could take half an hour away from your flag production time. If you still end up with coloured cardboard, including the grey cheap cardboard, you have to paint the entire thing white, or the cardboard colour is going to affect the colours you're going to put on it.

Also notice that the Norwegian flag has a 4:3 format, which means that the height is 25% shorter than the width of the flag, which is the same format as a traditional PAL or NTSC TV. You know, the TV you had before your brand new 16:9 Widescreen plasma screen. Cut your piece of cardboard to the correct format. If you can't cut it, remember that it's generally more acceptable that the flag is too wide than too tall.

Paint

There are several ways of adding colour to the flag. But seriously, crayons look like a child did it. Nobody is going to believe it is a Norwegian flag, unless it's a kindergarden project. In a demonstration, they are just going to question your intelligence.

Water colours tend to be too transparent, and most oil based paint just take forever to dry. Do you want to burn the flag today or in half a year? Your choice. Personally, I prefer acrylic paint. It has a thickness comparable to oil, yet dry at a speed comparable to water. And I personally feel that it's a lot more managable than your other options.

Masking tape and brushes

You should get some masking tape. It's a lot easier to make the straigh lines when you apply masking tape on your canvas (that's artsy fartsy lingo for "cardboard"), and it comes easily off without destroying the cardboard. You also get away with a larger brush, which makes colouring those large surfaces a breeze.

Field measurements

The height of the flag is 16 units. By unit, I mean one 16th of the heigh of the flag. To get a measurement of a unit in cm or inches, just take the height of your flag and divide by 16. This is from a rule I learned as a child, which is probably why I get so upset when the burning flags are drawn the wrong way. The width of each colour area are 6+1+2+1+6 = 16. On the width, you use the same unit sizes, but then it's 6+1+2+1+12. The 12 is a minimum of the width of the last (top right/bottom right red) colour area. It is supposed to be 12, longer is acceptable, shorter is just stupid.

The blue centre cross

I like to begin with the blue cross in the centre. So start by measuring up 7 (that's past the two first colour fields) units to the right from the top left corner, and similarly to the right from the bottom left corner. Place the masking tape, so that it's right hand side marks this 7 unit line. You also need another strip, where the left side of the masking tape marks the 9 unit line. You now have the vertical line between the 7 and 9 unit lines open, and the sides protected by the masking tape. Paint this area with navy blue. It's a very dark blue. If you make it too dark, it will look black. If you make it too light, like cobolt blue, it will look Swedish.

Take off the masking tape, and feel proud of yourself with the nice straight edges of the vertical blue stripe. When the paint has dried, you can repeat the process for the horizontal blue stripe, which would have the same measurements, except taken from top left and top right corners going down.

Congratulations! You now have a Finnish flag. If you're headed for the Finnish embassy, this is where you stop in the process. And why not? Making a flag is a lot of work, and who cares if it's the Norwegian or Finnish embassy? It's one of those darn Scandinavian countries with reindeer anyway, right?

The red areas

So the stripes in the blue cross are two units wide. The white strips are one unit wide. It's time to fill in the red areas. Since none of the areas actually intersect, you can set up the masking tape for all four corners at the same time. Use this setup to fill the red areas; top right, bottom right and bottom left.

The herring salad

The top left corner is probably the hardest bit. It requires a lot of masking tape being put on and taken off. The internal measurements of the width of the red white and blue stripes are 6+1+2+1+6 like the rest of the flag, and the width of the blue and yellow areas are 6+4+6. It is very important that you include the herring salad in the top left corner, instead of just painting it red. I know it's a pain to put in there, but it's worth the extra effort. The effect on the Norwegian psyche when you include it is precious.

Finishing off

Congratulations. Now, repeat the process on the other side of the cardboard, so that you can see the flag on both sides. Go out, find a journalist, and put your hours worth of work on fire. And don't forget, never let the flag touch the ground, or you will have to burn it! And why would you burn it? Seeing a flag burning on TV is no big deal, but using a flag that indicates Swedish rule over Norway on May 17th is probably the second worst insult you can make to Norwegians. Party on!

Sámi National Day

2006-02-06T18:25:00.000+01:00

February 6th is the Sámi National^*) Day.

*) Some claim that it is not a national day, because "Sápmi is not an actual nation, and it is therefore called 'The day of the Sámi people'." For those who were planning on adding a lot of comments about this need to check the dictionary definition of the word nation. Norway is a multi-national country.

The new radical fundamentalism: Freedom of Speech

2006-02-04T18:14:00.000+01:00

In the latest controversy, some "westerners" criticize radical fundamental muslims^*) for being fundamentalists, because being radical, they will walk over bodies to obtain their "sacred" goals. And I must put "sacred" in quotes, because the Free Speech activists claim that nothing is sacred, and do not understand what the big deal is. But these people do have one thing sacred; free speech. Indeed, they see it as a fundamental right, and they can be down right radical in protecting it. This makes certain Free Speech® activists radical fundamentalists.

This right to Free Speech® is, if we believe the actions of Free Speech activists, not for just anyone to use. Only Free Speech® activists and those who agree with them seem to be allowed to use it. For example, George W Bush may threaten another nation in order to change that country's domestic policy, because that's freedom of speech. But Kim Jong II may not threaten the USA in order to change US foreign policy, because that's just down right bad terrorist behaviour.

Similarly, Danish cartoonists are allowed to draw caricatures of Prophet Muhammed (sacred to Muslims, if anyone didn't already know), because that's just freedom of speech. But offended Muslims are not allowed to burn the Danish flag (sacred to Danes and Free Speech® activists, if anyone didn't already know), because that's just down right bad terrorist behaviour.

Then we come to threats. "They have no right to threaten with violence," say Norwegian and Danish activists. "The drawings were published in countries where this is legal, they can't push their laws on us, so they have no right to threaten with violence." It is the inability to see these geographic and political barriers that is the trademark of the dangerous Radical Fundamentalist, right?

To a certain extent, the Free Speech activists are correct in this statement. They have no rights to threaten with violence in Denmark or Norway. That being said, Palestine, Saudi-Arabia, Syria and Iran are not Danish or Norwegian territory, and thus Norwegian and Danish law is completely irrelevant. Exactly what the laws in these countries say about threatening citizens of other countries with violence, I have no idea. I trust that their local authorities will deal with people who break the laws of their respective countries. But I certainly do have the impression that threats of violence are much more common in the Middle East in general, and so I assume that this is an allowed forms of speech there, and therefore do not take these threats to seriously.^**)

A Norwegian can not complain about a Syrian breaking Norwegian law whilst in Syria. If, however, that Syrian comes to Norway and breaks Norwegian law on Norwegian territory, that's a completely different matter. Until that happens, Norwegian and Danish laws are completely irrelevant to the debate of what a Syrian, Palestinian, Iranian or Saudi may or may not do in their own countries. This is, after all, the Free Speech activist's argument for being allowed to draw Muhammed in Denmark.

From this, we can see that the Free Speech activists in these matters are not able to see the geographic and political boundries of their own cause. And this inability to see their boundries is why I would label them as radical fundamentalists, even dangerously so. While they don't wish to admit it, by purposely provoking a people that was already on its toes, Free Speech activists have supplied the spark that are causing an international bush fire in which people are dying. Their defence? "It's allowed."

In reality, the world will never rest as long as we have fundamentalists. You could say I'm a fundamental anti-fundamentalist, which is an oxymoron. But my anti-fundamentalism is not completely fundamental, as I am a big follower of the fundamental striving for the goodness in all.

*) By the term "Radical fundamentalist muslims" I refer to the small group of people who claim to be muslims, and fundamentally so. They are not really muslims, as they break just about every principle that Islam stands for. Similarly, by the term "Radical fundamentalist Free Speech activist" I refer to the small group of people who claim to be fighting for free speech, but in reality use this as a cover to achieve some not-so-sincere goals.

**) Acts of violence, however, I do take seriously. While I don't know the local laws well enough to make any comment of the legality of the ongoing violence in these areas, I reserve the right to keep distance and trust that local authorities will deal with anyone who breaks local laws.

Update 6.2.2006 A good friend of mine was wonderful enough to shed more light on the issue of whether the caricatures are really covered by Free Speech®: The European Court of Human Rights (ECHR) have two previous presedence-making rulings showing that Freedom of Expression does not cover defamation of religion.

Violence to shoes

2006-02-01T23:50:00.000+01:00

In the last few weeks, Norwegian women have expressed outrage ^*) over how images of violence against - and oppression of - shoes are put on display in a handful of shops in Oslo. The National Shoe Liberty Frontieer (NSLF) wish to prohibit the depiction of oppressed shoes. But seriously, what is more important? A pair of shoes, or freedom of speech?

As freedom of speech certainly must be more important, the King of Gardistan advocates a campaign to post depictions of oppressed and murdered shoes on as many websites on the Internet as possible. Says the King, "with such a campaign, The National Shoe Liberty Frontieer will learn that they can not trample on our right to oppress our shoes. And freedom of speech. Yes, that's what's it about. Freedom of speech."

*) In other news, a group of people are expressing outrage about a drawing of Muhammed ^**) and burn flags as part of their right to express their misdirected ^***) outrage. Interestingly, those who claim to defend free speech are expressing an outrage against the burning of flags, and react by making more drawing of Muhammed, while at the same time refuse to burn Danish flags outside the Danish consulate.

**) Since there are no actual authentic depictions of Muhammed in existance, there is no guarantee that the person on said drawing is Muhammed. Indeed, judging from the size of the bomb on his head, there's a greater chance that it's actually a depiction of Dubbya^****) Bush. The shoe depicted in this blog post, however, is very real.

***) It turns out that the drawings they are offended by are NOT the ones published in the Danish newspaper, Jyllands-Posten, but somethings that their own Imams made in order to turn them against the Danes. The original drawing was apparently not bad enough. It is interesting to watch as the debates go on as if the lie was the truth. Then again, keeping the lie sells a lot more papers...

****) After reading this article, Dubbya called me up to license the rights for my "free speech" argument. Says Dubbya, "the people we keep in Guantanamo are not prisoners of war, they are living pieces of one of my greatest works of art, depicting my grand vision of a free world! Guilty or not, if any of them were allowed to leave, it would just be undemocratic. Why do you hate our freedom?"

Ánte Mikkel

2006-01-19T11:13:00.000+01:00

This just has to be my best portrait photo ever.

Happy New Year

2006-01-01T00:15:00.000+01:00

1.1 00:15

Lapi Maja

2005-12-29T18:05:00.000+01:00

Thieves!

2005-12-28T19:08:00.000+01:00

Professionally done - unlock door, rip out stereo, get out, lock door. Don't get greedy - they didn't even touch the Euro-coins lying in plain view next to the stereo.

Maaahrry Christmas

2005-12-24T23:32:00.000+01:00

Compulsary train photo for Leo

2005-12-24T17:01:00.000+01:00

Political censorship in Bush's USA

2005-12-18T20:31:00.000+01:00

Freedom of speech (ideas and opinions) is supposedly the hallmark of democracy, and one of the things that every citizen of the USA seem to be extremely proud of. So imagine everyone surprise, when one of the classic books of communism, Mao's Little Red Book, not only is taken off the shelves, but a request for it makes strange things happen:

NEW BEDFORD -- A senior at UMass Dartmouth was visited by federal agents two months ago, after he requested a copy of Mao Tse-Tung's tome on Communism called "The Little Red Book." full story

Stories like this sends chills down my spine, making me wonder just how far Bush is allowed to go in echoing Soviet era control of the population. And I seriously wonder what it could be, that makes a book so dangerous that the government of "the land of the free" just won't let you read it. I should go to the library and put in a request for this book myself. Better yet - I should order it from Amazon.

The ball! Get the ball!

2005-12-08T10:36:00.000+01:00

Winter wonderland

2005-12-07T11:09:00.000+01:00

And... did I mention it was -20 C when I took this photo?

Kautokeino winter

2005-12-07T10:51:00.000+01:00